I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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