he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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