i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
