actually, I'm a sock model
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
