I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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