but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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