Can i not drive my cunt home
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
