Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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