I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
