Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
