i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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