when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
