is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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