if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize