This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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