): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
