how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
PANTIES FOUND
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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