dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
