he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
