I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
