i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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