physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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