this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
