Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
