Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
