There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
