Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
