Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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