I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
