i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
