so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize