you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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