I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I touched a dick in church today
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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