Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize