I haven't been this sober since birth.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
