Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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