i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
