She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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