I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
