He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
