no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
