her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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