apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
