Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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