what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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