You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
