the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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