Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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