At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize