Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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