You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
