Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
