I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
