how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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