Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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