How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
