Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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