It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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