I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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