why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
