you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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