Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hippo gnu deer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
