first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
