all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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