you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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