who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
