just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
