PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize