whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cockslap morals
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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