I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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