I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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