if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
