Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
