So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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